Do you set a new year’s resolution or intention each year? What is your success in following through with it? When you set this goal for yourself is it based on what you think you should be like? Is it based in how you think you can be better? Is the goal action oriented or broad? For myself, I used to set intentions to do things like get more exercise, or eat healthier, or whatever. They were always broad and not specific and always based in what I felt I should be doing. When I become more involved with yoga I started setting intentions like spend more quality time with my dog, or cook more meals at home. Again, they were always broad and things that I felt inadequate about myself.
What if this year there was new year’s resolution or intention?
I’ve moved away from this practice a few years ago. I’ve started to work on this daily and begin to have my daily intention to keep me focused and on track. In Ayurveda everyone is different. We are all made up of different vibrations of energy, and as such need different things to feel successful in life, to feel loved and to share love,
How do we define what we need?
According to Ayurveda philosophy we are all made up of the five elements; ether (space), air, fire, water, earth. We all have a different amount of each element, so some of us are more grounded, some of us more creative, some more driven. This does not make one better or more desirable than the other, just different. We can begin to define what we need to feel whole when we begin to notice the things that throw us off balance, or disrupt our feeling of contentment and place in the world.
Sometimes is it is easier to notice when we don’t feel quite right than it is to notice when we feel exactly like ourselves. Ayurveda offers the adage opposites balance and like increases like. When we fell blah, or sluggish, or slow, it would do us well to add something uplifting, enlivening, or invigorating. Often our mind tricks us into thinking we need something similar like alcohol, or TV, or heavy snacks like potato chips. While those things are not inherently bad for us in of themselves, if we are already feeling blah, these things are likely to increases that feeling of blah. Perhaps a brisk walk, peppermint tea, a phone call to a loved one may actually lift us out of the funk more than the pull to add more funk.
This is the hard part. Choosing to do the thing that is going to support us most isn’t always the easy thing. This is where needing more than a new year’s resolution to create a life of joy and presence is important. It is a daily practice, and moment to moment practice to be the best possible version of ourselves. It takes practice and discipline to remember we are worth a damn and to make choices to support ourselves.
Prajnaparadha, mistake of the intellect, is often one of the biggest culprits for lack of follow through. We know intellectually something is good for us or not, yet we may choose to do it for any number of reasons like social pressure, unreasonable expectations for ourselves, or any multitude of stories we make up in our mind.
Ayurveda offers the 80/20 rule. If we are living life where 80% of the time we are making decisions that support us, and 20% of the time we decide we’re going to eat five sugar cookies, then we are doing pretty good. It is generally easier to offer compassion to others when they make mistakes or need a little help. If we make ourselves a priority, we can begin to offer that same compassion to ourselves as well.
It is also helpful to know that making ourselves a priority doesn’t mean we are not going to be there for others when they need us. We will also not make selfish decisions that create harm for others. It is possible to keep our personal best interest in the forefront while respecting others and their needs. This is not a selfish pursuit, it is the pursuit of creating more joy in our own life to flow into the lives of those we interact with.
Take it Day to Day
You are perfect as you are. If there is something that throws you off balance and makes you feel imperfect, is it worth keeping around?
For this year, I encourage you to set a daily intention or resolution that you are worth it, and you deserve to live a life of joy. When you wake up in the morning, decide what you need from the day. Do you need encouragement on a new project, time to rest, to get organized around the house, or to move your body? Keep it simple and specific; “I am feeling tired from not enough sleep, so I will make sure to go to bed an hour earlier tonight.” From there, see if you can make choices throughout the day to support what you need that day. Maybe a loved one wants to watch a movie, but it will go past the time you want to go to bed. Perhaps offer to watch a shorter film or TV show or reschedule for another day.
You are interesting, you are important, you are unique. Take some time to be curious about you and learn all you can to cultivate a life of joy and presence.